Isn't life a matter of perception, eh? Here, I thought that you had decided to talk with me in order to clear your concious, and be with her. Now, well. It was fun. Lol. Nice.

Any who, So school is almost over. I will be taking the summer off so that we can sort out the schedule issues that life line is presenting, and have Ashton. Ashton, by the way, is not coming up here to live, which Sucks.

Xavier is currentaly watching the Nightmare Before Christmas for the first time (well watching as well as a 6 month old can, it looks more like he's watching to dog whine with his new sock monkey in his mouth....) He is growing up so fast it's scary,I am almost afraid to move him into his own room .... Sometimes I wonder if this is the same kind of mom that I would have been in Germany. I know that I will never know, but I would like to hope so.

Thad and I went and saw stand up comedy last night, Gabriel Iglesias and Friends, it was awesome. We had to leave early, my boobs were going to explode. Xavier stayed with my brother and sister in law, I guess he screamed the entire time, which makes me feel like an aweful mom, but everyone keeps telling me that its part of babies sometimes they scream, I just never thought that it would be for 5 hours.

Chris just moved to D.C. which is pretty awesome, it means that he got a job Eventhough mom decided to pawn things before asking me for help. I think that is one part of having a job that I miss, I used to be someone that she would go to for help. But now, I'm not even independent. I have thought of going and getting a job behind Thad, but I don't thin thats going to work. I guess that I will just take my moms offer and clean her house....it smoney and some independence right? Beggers cant be choosers....

I need to get new shoes and don't know how to tell Thad. Mine have no soles...and mom loaned me some, but I swear that smokers shoes smell worse. I can smell their stench, and theyre on my feet!!! I guess that we will have to wait on me having my own income. Does it make me hard headed that I REFUSE to ask my husband for help? even with something as simple as shoes?

We have decided to do the colour run, Which is on July 28th. When I told my mom that she flipped out about it being my grand fathers birthday, and Thad can't understand why I don't like celebrating my birthday. Simple. Because it was never MINE. I guess I wish that there wasnt really an entire day focused on me, I am a boring topic.

We drove to Vincennes today, Kelly sent the check for the Chrysler, so we went to see Ashton, nd see if the bank that the check is from is actually real...that would be a yes. I can't believe that she actually paid for it...I might just buy a lottery ticket lol.

Well Xavier is yelling at me...I guess that makes it bath time...



Love the one that you found second, becasue if you had really loved the first, you wouldnt've fallen for the second....

Anybody here know how to come up with a decent chunk of change in about 5 months, you know, not a lot, like 30000? My husband is hitting the big 40 this year. He wants a trans am, its kind of a bucket list thing, and I know that I said that I would do it for him for our wedding, except I had recently been fired and traci had left the house to us....So I havn't done it yet...

and being a SAHM, and sneaking a 30000.00 restoration car around that I'm not sure a backwards facing carseat can even fit in...isnt easy....

Speaking of isnt easy I finally gave in and let him get life insurence on me...   now if I die, he will still be able to put the kids through school....

That still means that I am settling down. Im not totally sure that I was ready to do that....but I guess as long as I follow my heart, I won't end up anywhere I don't want to be, at least a little...

School is going well, I did much better on my last math test, so I think that I am going to be able to pull it out of a hole after all, or maybe I'm just optimistic because its my spring break. Whichever...lol. I will be headed up to the mathlab on Saturday I think, well either way, I'll be going up to Indy on Saturday. Bottomline there still stands....act of god.

In my new found oldness,

I have decided that I want to  try homade wine, ad re-try moonshine ( cause I don't remember it from last time since the accident) and get married by Elvis. Das ist being added to the bucket list... lol.

Ashton is home on Spring break, She went with Nat and Cyndi to Cincinatti. They set her strait, thank  god! Shes move livable now. Xavier is singing along with my radio, its amazing. I made peace with Rachel, I hope. Shes moving on Sunday. GO RACHEL! I have pom-poms........! and I will get a unitard....lol. mother in a unitard! Kelly is sending us a check for the chrysler, as soon as it CLEARS we will be delivering...Im hoping that it is after the 21st, thats me and thads next date night, and since were fairly certain that Kelly will be the one actually driving it....its kindof karma.